Sunday, May 27, 2012

{Real Wedding} Norm & Sue- 5-26-2012 Childhood sweethearts marry three decades later.


Norm and Sue first met over thirty years ago at a small campground in Upstate New York.  They were engaged to be married while in high school.  Both being young, they unfortunately  drifted apart and went their separate ways.  They both married and were blessed with children of their own.  Eight years ago, while Sue was searching on Facebook, she found Norm again!  She contacted him and fate brought them back together and today we celebrate the rejoining of these two hearts.  

On May 26, 2012, As their elderly parents were seated in the front row and the friends and family that are closest to them witnessed, I had the honor of marring the childhood sweethearts. 



 I asked them you each write me a private letter on why they loved each other to read as a part of their ceremony. 


Norm wrote...
 
When we first met back in high school, we were a good match from the start.  Just too young to know how important that was. Like the song goes "You don't know what you got, till it's gone". I was young and dumb and let her get away, and have regretted it ever since.

Luckily for me, ole fate stepped in and gave me a second chance. Now that I am a lot older, and a little smarter, I am not making the same mistake again. 
When we met again 9 years ago, we both had been through most of life's experiences, except for true happiness.  After hours of phone calls, and spending time together, I quickly realized she was "The One".
Why do I love "my girl?"  The main reason I fell in love with Sue is she is the "Real Deal".  There is nothing pretentious about her.  She's the most awesome woman I have ever known. 
I love her for her nurturing spirit and positive attitude and that she is able to forgive and forget without a second thought.
She’s kind, compassionate, thoughtful, and generous of herself and her time, asking nothing in return.
I love her because at times she is pure entertainment, all by herself. She cracks me up!!!
I love that she wants to spend time with me in my man cave, works on projects with me, and loves the outdoors, camping, and riding our ATVs.  She has been my pit crew, helper, ladder holder, teammate, doctor, nurse and riding buddy,
Now a road trip driver she is not. Her specialty is being “Sleepy the Co-Pilot". It usually requires me breaking a bone, for her to take the wheel on a trip.  That has happened a few times, and she did a great job.
But I love her most when I pull a dryer sheet out of my shirt sleeve at work, or find a little love note in my lunch.  She loves me even in times when I am sometimes not loveable.
I love to hear her laugh and make her laugh, and her happiness is my priority.
She is the best thing that has ever happened to me, my best friend, my buddy, and the love of my life!

 Sue  wrote...

When I first found Norm again my heart skipped a beat.  When I saw him again after 25 years I thought it was a dream, because it literally was a dream came true for me.  Over the many, many months we spent talking, I knew that I had found my soul mate and best friend again.

He is loving and compassionate, caring and thoughtful, generous, sensitive and emotional, and he's not afraid to show it.   Although he puts on a good manly front, he is an old softie !!  I love how he always grabs my hand to hold it and opens doors for me. I love when he is always there with umbrella in hand when it rains. 

I love that when we go to restaurants, he always sits so his "eye" is on the door.  He always has my best interest, safety and happiness in mind, and he makes me laugh every day - usually at his own expense!!

He makes the very best campfires, cooks anything to perfection on the grill, picks out the best greeting cards ever, and can tear apart anything and put it back together in record time. He is a perfectionist and his motto is measure twice, cut once and if you want something done right, do it yourself!! All these things and more are what made me fall back in love with him, and love him for every day.   He is my rock, my best friend, my soul mate and the love of my life. 








I wish them a lifetime of happiness now that they have reunited!    

Danielle M Baker
"The Wedding Lady"
Wedding Officiant & Minister
864-303-8748

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Who is Your Wedding Minister? Why Does it Matter?

How much difference can one person make in your nuptial celebration?   Does it really matter?  What do you look for in your wedding minister?  How do you find the right one for you?

Like any other professional, they are not all equal.

There are clunkers, normal, and super stars. Ministers have personal characteristics that may be attractive or objectionable. Consider your candidates. Look for qualities of professionalism, public speaking skills, sensitivity, listening, flexibility, and their priorities.

Many couples do not really care who officiates their ceremony for them. They accept the first one available. One might ask, does it really make a difference who officiates?

Is your officiate legally authorized to perform legal weddings? Double check. Make sure they are authorized by your state and ordained or authorized by an appropriate religious or social agency.
Those who officiate represent not only civil authorities, but their own particular religious traditions.
You will want to be sure that they fit your own views of marriage and family.
You may not agree with your leader on every detail of life, but it is important that his expressions concerning your sacred event reflect your own values.

What religious background have you shared, or do you prefer? Look for someone from that tradition. If you prefer Baptist, look for a Baptist minister. If you connect with Methodist, Presbyterian, or other tradition; look for an appropriate guide to communicate your shared faith, hopes, and dreams.

Do you want a minister who comes with his own orthodox ceremony? This can really simplify things for the bride and groom, but limits the amount of creativity and personalization.
Or, you may want a minister who is highly flexible and willing to work with you. You may want a minister who encourages your creativity so your ceremony can be truly personal.

Your whole event depends on your leader. His or Her words express the theme and content of the ceremony, but he/ she does much more. He/ she manages the flow of the ceremony, guides the participants, and facilitates every aspect of the ceremony.
It is extremely helpful and valuable for him/ her to provide personal guidance and encouragement to the wedding couple as he communicates the values, priorities, and commitments of marriage. Your preparation and ceremony should be an educational experience to assist the couple in launching their marriage.
An elegant formal event will require your leader to facilitate stylish ceremony elements, wording, and movements. An informal wedding will require the calm guide to foster a relaxed atmosphere in which participants can be themselves and enjoy the ceremony.

Ultimately, you are in charge. You choose the one that will help you achieve your dream wedding. He/ she manages the legalities, the traditions, and the coordination; but he/ she does so in cooperation with you.

Together you can achieve the kind of celebration you really want with as much personalization as you wish.

Don't leave your special day to chance... I work tirelessly to ensure a stellar reputation. 

Danielle M Baker
www.TheWeddingLady.us



{Credit given to Mile High Ministries for this amazing information!}

Gratuity for Wedding Officiants? What to Tip at a Wedding and How to Tip Your Wedding Minister


Many brides and grooms, or their parents, are very shy when it comes to making payments to a wedding professional in person, but they are generally more embarrassed when dealing with their wedding clergy in regards to payment, and especially a giving a gratuity. I have been on both ends of the wedding altar and I can tell you that it's much easier to deal with than you think and there is a smart way.
Everyone is a bit unsure of what is proper mostly because wedding ministers as a whole have historically dealt with rituals and preparedness in situations and most folks do not want to cross the line. But remember that wedding professionals deal with this issue on a daily basis and so they understand your uncomfortableness and they have seen it quite a bit. To them, it is part of the work day.
Do I tip? Definitely, yes. How much? It depends, but it is not unusual to double a fee. How? There is a good time to pay the gratuity when you pay the balance of your officiant fee. Why? Because t.i.p. stands for to insure proper service. Your marriage officiant is still holding your marriage license when you part ways (they are required usually to file it themselves). Where? At the signing.
How do you pay and tip with class? It is not so difficult after all. Tipping anyone should be done with joy and gratitude. Consider the following wedding information.
Most officiants charge from $275 to $900 for a wedding ceremony. It all depends on your wedding ceremony location, what things you feel you need from your wedding minister and how busy they are. The busier the wedding minister, the more expensive they will generally be.
Most wedding vendors will ask for a deposit in advance and the remainder to be paid on the day of the wedding. Do remember to make a prompt deposit as wedding professionals do get calls and emails constantly. A typical wedding professional gets anywhere from 10 to 100 requests a day. That is a lot time requests to be juggling. Frankly, the first person to commit by putting down a deposit is the one who wins that time slot.
We recommend that you send the officiant you have chosen the deposit by check or by credit card immediately so that you do have a hold on their time and also so that there is a paper trail. However, in my experience, the balance should be paid by cash.
When you pay the balance it is usually more embarrassing for people since it is in person and there is no "right moment". But there is.
The best thing to do is to bring an envelope with each wedding vendor name on it and put the remainder in cash in the envelope. If you are in a large wedding, hand these to your best man or the father of the bride (which makes him feel more important) and tell them to distribute the money for you.
Do make sure to pay by the balance you owe your wedding minister in cash or your license may not be filed in time for the check to clear. Even worse, if you are traveling after your wedding and your check bounces, you may find that you are not married by the time you return from your honeymoon. A wedding officiant is required to file your marriage license within a certain amount of time with the county, usually 10 days. If they are paid by check and it bounces while you are in Tahiti then you may have a bit of a problem as that wedding clergy does not know if you will be paying on your bad check.
The best time to pay is at the signing of the marriage license. There is always a shuffling of papers from each person and when the wedding officiant signs it you can easily hand the envelope over with a "Thank you!"
And do not forget the minister gratuity. You can include that in the envelope as well. What is the proper tip for an officiant? $75 - $150 is the proper officiant gratuity and if that seems to be too much to you, consider this: your wedding officiant is probably the least paid of most of the wedding professionals present at your wedding and yet you need that one person at your wedding ceremony more than anyone else there, or else. . . you would not be married. Yes, you do not need to tip a wedding official but think of it this way: it's good karma and a good way to start your marriage with a positive vibe from the one person who joined you as husband and wife.

{ Credit to Mile High Ministries for this Blog }

Monday, May 21, 2012

{ 10 Questions to Ask Your Officiant }



Danielle M Baker

Wedding Minister & Officiant





Although the reception is where the most fun is had, the ceremony is the most important part of the wedding day. Meet well in advance with the officiant candidates to go over what is required from both parties. Any suggestions you may have for the ceremony should be discussed upfront so that you can have the wedding day you dreamed of, and not some nightmare version you'd rather forget. It will also give the officiant the opportunity to discuss any requirements he or she may have before presiding over your wedding.

Pre- wedding requirements

Ask the officiant if there are any pre- wedding requirements you need to take care of. Many religious leaders require that you undergo a certain amount of pre- marriage counseling before agreeing to preside over your wedding. This is usually for peace of mind, so that they know that you are indeed ready for the commitment that you are about to make. Look at it as a good thing, because it can help your relationship in the long run.

Schedule

The officiant's schedule is critical to a well-run ceremony. It allows you to know how tightly you must plan the ceremony and events leading up to it. be sure to ask when the officiant will be available for rehearsal. Getting a sense of how much time you have will allow you to schedule your ceremony and the rest of the day's events. Also find out how tightly your wedding is planned with other events the officiant has scheduled for the day. You want to make sure you have a few minutes leeway to make room for any tardiness or delays.

Personal ideas

Ask the officiant about his or her program for the wedding ceremony. Ask if your personal ideas or preferences can be incorporated into the ceremony, such as specific readings,religious verses or songs. If you want something that departs from the norm, such as a candle lighting or broom jumping, make sure this is permitted and okay with the officiant well in advance.

Officiant's ideas

Ask the officiant if he gives some type of speech or a sermon. Will he or she talk personally about the couple, or will the ceremony be generic? This will allow you to get some idea how your wedding ceremony will go. Ask if you are allowed to give any suggestions for the officiant's speech or sermon. If you are the type of bride that wants to plan your wedding down to the last detail, these are important things to know before choosing an officiant.

Officiant's outfit

Ask the officiant what he or she will wear to the wedding. This may not seem important, but it could be when taking photographs. If you have an unorthodox or new age officiant, she could be very lax with her wardrobe. This can conflict with a very formal wedding. In that case work with the officiant to find a compromise or suitable solution.

Venue

Ask about the ceremony site. Find out if the officiant will be able to conduct the wedding at the site you have arranged for, or if you must have it in a specific location designated by the officiant or religious protocol. If you are undecided on a ceremony venue, maybe the officiant can recommend places to you.

Restrictions

If you are having the ceremony at the officiant's site, ask of any restrictions. Some churches or religious buildings doesn't allow flash photography, candle lighting, decorations or videography. Ask if your chosen music is allowed in the building or if you have to have music played by site staff, such as a church's organ player. Also ask if there is a certain dress code for the wedding party and guests.

Equipment

Ask what equipment is provided by the officiant. If having the wedding ceremony at the officiant's site, ask the him or her what you will be required to bring, such as microphones and aisle runners.

Marriage license

Find out when the marriage license will need to be provided. If you need to bring it before the ceremony, you'll need to make arrangements or add it to your list of things to do. In many cases the officiant will take care of the certificate or license and take it to the requisite authorities, leaving you and your spouse to sign it at some point shortly before or after the ceremony.

Fees

Ask if there are any fees for the ceremony. If there is one, ask if this fee is fixed or a donation. Also find out when the fee is due and if there is a deposit that you must provide by a certain date.

About the Author

{A special thank you to Tiesha Whatley for the great article.}

Selecting a Wedding Officiant




Whether a reverend or a judge, you will need to find an officiant with a license to conduct the marriage ceremonies if you want your wedding to count. This can be a lengthy and involved process for many couples, and there are numerous factors to consider before making your decision. Here's what you need to do.
  • What You Need to Know
  • Will you be holding a secular or a religious ceremony?
  • Do you and your fiancee want to go through premarital counseling with either the officiant or another party?
  • What expenses are you willing to pay for an officiant, such as whether your wedding will require transportation and lodging for the person.
  • Gather whatever Bible verses, poems, text or other special sayings that you may want the officiant to include in the ceremony.
  • Decide whether you will want to invite the officiant to your reception or party afterward.

Step 1:

Choose between a secular ceremony and a religious one. This will narrow the field of potential candidates.

Step 2:

Ask about the fees and deposits that apply. This is especially important if you are on a tight budget.

Step 3:

Check into potential officiants' experience and decide how important that is to you. You should also factor in their experience when considering how long you want the ceremony to be. The longer the ceremony, the more that will be expected of the officiant. For an unseasoned officiant, this could be difficult to manage.

Step 4:

Discuss any expectations or requirements you will have of the officiant, such as specific Bible verses or other text to reference, time restrictions or special allowances outside the typical ceremony responsibilities.

Step 5:

Ask what the officiant expects of you. He may require you to undergo premarital counseling if you want him to lead the ceremony. He may also want help with transportation and accommodations if he is traveling.

Step 6:

Check the officiant's availability on potential dates for your wedding. If the officiant is already heavily scheduled, try an off day, such as a Friday or Sunday, when demand is not as high.
  • Tips & Warnings
  • Select your officiant before you choose your wedding date if you are picky about who will lead the ceremony. That will give you more flexibility in finding a day that matches up with your officiant's availability.
  • Check with you state's licensing board to make sure your officiant is authorized to lead a wedding. Otherwise, your marriage will not count.
  • Does the officiant have a backup if he or she becomes sick or has to cancel for some unforeseen reason. Discuss the alternatives.