Friday, February 24, 2012

Pre-Marriage Counseling

Pre-marriage counseling will not only help with the planning of your wedding, it will help your marriage greatly. Christian pre-marriage counseling although can be completed in one month should take place as soon as possible. Sample topics to address: transitioning into the 'married life', what are the building blocks for having a healthy marriage, spirituality and devotional time, establishing Biblical based values and standards to live by, communication, developing problem solving skills, dealing with personal and joint hurts, finances, sexuality, involvement with in-laws, children, pets, alcohol and chemical use, etc. 

 Couples will be challenged to develop a world and life view that has its source in God's Word. Pre-marriage counseling is a time for couples to discuss in an open, honest, and non-threatening atmosphere ways to better understand themselves, each other, and God. 

Couples... Here is a fun activity! 

YOU ARE THE COUNSELOR- You each need a sheet of paper Imagine that you’ve been married for ten years. You’re a little older, a littler wiser. What would you say to: 
1. A young couple engaged to be married 
2. A couple at the end of their first year of marriage 
 3. A couple in conflict and considering a divorce 

Now exchange sheets and share your experience. 

 Best of Luck & Best Wishes! 

Danielle M Baker - Wedding Minister & Wedding Officiant, Greenville, SC
http://www.TheWeddingLady.us/

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Danielle M Baker- Wedding Officiant, Minister, SC Notary on Wedding Wire

Danielle M Baker- Wedding Officiant, Minister, SC Notary Public via WeddingWire.com

Danielle M Baker- Wedding Officiant & Wedding Minister on Gig Salad

Danielle M Baker- Wedding Officiant & Wedding Minister on Gig Salad

What is a wedding ceremony “rehearsal?” by TheWeddingLady.us

What is a wedding ceremony “rehearsal?”
It’s when you get everyone together who is involved in the wedding for a walk-through of the ceremony. This should include all the Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, Flower Girls, Ring Bearers, and of course the Bride and Groom! It is optional to have the readers, musicians and/or soloists, parents and grandparents there.
You’ll notice that I put the word “rehearsal” in quotes. That’s because a rehearsal is really not a rehearsal! It is only a “walk-through” of what will happen during the ceremony. It is not like a Broadway play or Hollywood movie, where everyone has to practice all their singing, dancing, acting, and stunt parts together. If you have readers or musicians, they do not need to take up everyone’s time by practicing at the rehearsal. You certainly don’t want the wedding officiant practicing his entire message! And the Bride and Groom should also practice their vows on their own. It’s better to keep the vows a “secret” from others so that they will be a pleasant surprise to everyone at the ceremony.

Is a wedding ceremony “rehearsal” necessary?

If you have a large bridal party of many Bridesmaids & Groomsmen, etc., you may need a rehearsal sometime before the wedding. Most rehearsals take about 30 minutes or less. It should not take longer than the actual ceremony. In a lot of cases, you can do the wedding rehearsal yourself, just by following the order of service in the bulletin you will hand out to your wedding guests. It’s usually quite simple. All your bridal party needs to know is when to walk in, where to stand (or sit), and when to walk out. In summary, a wedding rehearsal is never a true rehearsal — it’s just a “walk-through.” Its purpose is to show people where they fit in so they will hopefully feel a little less stress about their roles in the actual ceremony. Although I usually do a rehearsal for a wedding, I have done many weddings without any rehearsal at all, even with a large bridal party. Everything went fine because we all followed the written order of service chosen by the couple.

Please keep in mind that planning a rehearsal for a Friday evening or sometime Saturday may not be a good idea. That’s because probably 99% of all weddings take place from Friday afternoon through Sunday evening. Your ceremony location and/or wedding officiant may have more than one event planned for the weekend you are getting married. It may not be possible to have your rehearsal and wedding ceremony during that “prime time.” Instead, I recommend having your rehearsal sometime Wednesday or Thursday evening, Friday during the day, or possibly Saturday or Sunday mornings. That way you can be reasonably sure that you will have both the ceremony location and your wedding officiant available for your rehearsal.
Also, many couples make the mistake of checking everyone else’s schedule to set the rehearsal, and then assume their wedding officiant will make it. Instead, you should check with the officiant first to find out when he is available, and then with everyone else. If you set the rehearsal without first checking with your officiant, and then find out your officiant has another commitment (such as a wedding) at the same time, you will be doing your rehearsal without him. But you may have a wedding planner or consultant who can walk you through the steps. 

Danielle M Baker
Wedding Officiant & Minister
Greenville, SC
http://www.TheWeddingLady.us

Hiring An Officiant for Your Wedding Ceremony by TheWeddingLady.us


As a wedding officiant, I’m generally the last vendor to be interviewed. I don’t take it personally…most couples spend a lot of time and energy scheduling and hiring people to make the reception an event that will be remembered for a long time, and it’s the celebration that everyone looks forward to. But once every last reception detail has been completed, some brides and grooms will often say to each other, “Yikes! We don’t have anyone to marry us yet!”

When you think about it, the person who speaks the words of your ceremony is one of the most important people in attendance. A lot of couples belong to a church or house of worship; there’s already a relationship established with the clergy person and the parties know one another. But what about those folks who don’t belong to a church? Or don’t share the same religious background and neither wishes to convert? Or who don’t want to be married in a church? Or who don’t subscribe to a specific religion/belief system at all? Or who might belong to a religion that doesn’t support couples who live together…or have a child together…or where one of the parties is divorced? It’s this population that needs to find someone who will marry them.

Where do you start? I recommend talking to married friends for a referral, or a Google search like 
“Officiant”, or Wedplan.com, Allwedding.com, or WeddingWire.com.  You will get many hits, no doubt, and it will be up to you to find just the right person.  Do not just hire the first person to respond!

Look closely at their website. You can hopefully learn about the officiant’s personality, credentials, experience, and sometimes even fees. Call the officiant and ask for a face-to-face meeting (you can send an e-mail asking the same as well). There should be no fee for the initial consultation, and the officiant should ask you a lot of questions about the two of you, what you want for your ceremony, and then let you know up-front whether he/she can deliver. Ask for referrals. Discuss the fee for service, and what that includes. Most vendors ask for a deposit to secure the date; expect the same when hiring your officiant. Remember, also, that the decision to hire because he/she is the cheapest is not how to hire an officiant. You want someone who has experience, professionalism and reliability (referrals can tell you about these). But even more important than how much the service costs, you should feel a connection with this person. He/she should be happy to give you want YOU want, and not dictate how the ceremony will be conducted. You should feel comfortable in his/her presence, and believe that this person really has your best interests at heart. sometimes this takes a leap of faith—no pun intended!

After I marry a couple, I always send them a follow-up e-mail, thanking them for choosing me to officiate, and for honest feedback. They say that I made them feel at-ease, they appreciated my sense of humor, they were confident in my abilities, I was easily (and cheerfully) accessible, my referrals gave glowing recommendations, and that I made no judgments about them…when others did. You should use these to help you find the right officiant for YOUR ceremony. Good luck in your search!
Danielle M Baker

I am Engaged! Now where do I begin? by TheWeddingLady.us

A lot of couples do not know where to begin to plan their wedding when they get engaged.
I would love to help you any way that I can. Here are some general guidelines that should help.

One of the first things you should decide on is the location and the date and time.
You need to make sure you can book the location, the reception and the
officiant on a date that is convenient for those that you want to be
in and at your ceremony as well as convenient for the officiant also. 
Get It In Writing”
Almost every reputable vendor in the wedding “industry” uses a contract for their services:
banquet halls and reception sites, photographers, DJ’s, limousine services, etc. If you don’t have a
contract with them, you have no recourse if they don’t provide exactly the services you
thought you were paying for. Make sure you also get a commitment in writing from the person
who will perform your wedding. Unfortunately, that includes churches, too. “Trust me” isn’t good enough.
I always use a contract with each couple, specifying place, date and time.
The Importance of a “Wedding Script”
I don’t know any Bride who would go to a wedding dress shop, give them a check,
tell them to “pick out a nice dress” for her, and deliver it on her wedding day at a certain
place and time. And I don’t know any Groom who would go to a jeweler, give them a check,
tell them to “pick out a couple of nice rings” for them, and deliver them on the wedding day.
However, that is what 99% of the couples who get married do in one crucial aspect of their
wedding: they tell the wedding officiant to in effect “say something nice” at their wedding ceremony.

They have very little “warning” in advance as to what will actually be said at their ceremony,
other than maybe the vows and ring exchange.
  Maybe you’ve heard some odd things yourself
at a friend’s wedding. Your wedding ceremony should say all the right things, the way you
want them said, and nothing else. The only way to ensure this is to have the
officiant provide you a written transcript of the planned ceremony in advance of your wedding.
(You may consider writing up the ceremony yourself, but it’s a lot of work, and not easy to do!)
No two weddings are exactly the same. Yours can and should be a “perfect” wedding ceremony,
which says the things you want in a beautiful and meaningful way.

Danielle M Baker